Thursday, May 3, 2007
Well, I feel weird. Why you may ask, is that having feelings for someone and not sure whether it is true. Could I have been trying to fill the hole when she threw me away? Is it that i'm scared of another rejection or the way I treat her if it happens? Ex and one of my bros got together.
Maybe I was jealous, so finding one to prove my worth was imperiative to find solace. Being a competitive person, that, could be my most driving reason. Why of all people I had to fall for her? Nope it wasn't the classical "I like the way you smile" kind of thing, but probably was drawn to her attitude. Must be good, all would think, but in actual fact it is otherwise. Many would say she is naive , loud and rash , but I see her with another image.my judgment is too bent to decide.
When did all this happen? During the last year end hols tat much interaction with her might have done something. Drawn, enchanted, mesmerized, I do not understand. But every morning she gets her stuff in the SC room, I might have felt something.
All this comes down to one thing: is getting in this business right, fit, even just for us? This is making me spin, but I will wait again to see what happens to me, what feelings and reactions I make.
4:31 AM
