woops! today's the 12th of september, and we're having english literature paper 2 and e maths paper 2. looks so though literature was hard? guss again. it was much simpler den all we had before, or at least to me. wrote my most today; a record breaking pages for me. guess the grades should be better on this one.
e maths was seemingly no sweat, but through the middle, its sweat. it damned tedious to do all this useless manipulation and constantly put brackets. was taking my own time, so didnt finish up question2, which was about angle properties. only realized its within my means to do do it on the last 10 seconds. gotta kill the clock, i thought. there goes my chance of an A1 in emaths now.

9th august, National Day. another holiday fr de ppl to stop their fast paced lifestyles and take a break. for me its jus another sunday - sleeping in, rushing hmwk, haing tuition, but tis never happened before, going out on a public holiday. yep i nv went out with frens on a public holiday. weird huh.

so tuition ended jus 20 mins before meeting time at clementi station. rushed to put on more -going-out clothes(which don fit in at all with the crowd,) and ate sum dinner and rushed off to meet the lady at the station. got up waiting fr the next train and off we went to city hall towards marina square. well expected the train to be awfully packed, but it was surprisingly not. just enough space to move about and even try stunts.

at city hall control station. police people are everywhere guiding and commanding the commuters to move on. the scene here was twiceas packed as it was on a peak hour. initially to meet jeslyn dere, but since the police are rambling about getting out of the station, she went on ahead first. squeezed our way through the massive crowds and let the lady here to direct me to the shopping center. i'm bad with directions.
met the rest of the class people - waiyuen, pamela, mokboy, siewhong, jeslyn, the lady and i. expected more people though, but i guess these group's jst fine. split up , sum to go arcading and the other shopping, while we went to have sum makaning. makaning till about 5 mins towards the start of the fireworks and thus went up to the balcony level. made it dere with a minute to spare. looking down at the square, was thousands of people , gathered to watch them too.
it started. sum were let off at nearby buildings, sum at the stadium itself. clambered on to higher grounds to get a betta look at them. all i know is that the very last fireworks display, the golden one like glitter being thrown at the sky was the best of them all.
we turned back towards the mall, to find the 2 couples missing. nice disappearing act i guess. got back to the shopping levels of the mall, where the last 3 un-disappeared people went to window shop. bought shoelaces frm ice lemon tee, was it? i couldn't quite remember. got around towards the ground floor where jeslyn was getting coffee when i met my sista and her gang of fun-loving inmates. went over to say hi and went off after. got into a train , where the 2 women constantly took pictures. later, im told, that i was evil for not taking pictures with them.
okay so that's about it, what happened after is well unconcerned to anyone - after supper, went back home .

okay being lost behind for about 5 months really let's de ppl come onto you and say "UPDATE LA, MORON!"
alright so today's the day we get together... to sing. gud going yo, those who wanted us SCs to sing on tage for or nation's birthday, for we are always caught much unprepared and you guys always gets it frm the little penguin we have as a principal. oh well den.
early morning we were up and running, preparing fr de cool star-red flag we made and de laying out of chairs. its early and we all sweatin.
do or die time, at 7.30. got to our positions, and the ceremony begins. i knew i shouldnt have gone soloist on the mangement of sec2s and choir, but everone's up and busy.
gotta stay really enthusisatic with this group, if not the grp wont be up singing. in the end it was quite satisfying, to have actually got into the mood of it.
lil juniors wanted to run about the parade square, but didnt have de courage to start. keep asking me to lead. in the end they got the caterpillar running.
everything was over.very gud, i thought, everything worked out great, if not betta.
at 10 am, went to take group photos with the all rampant Aarty Gang. group of shrieking laughter frm pure women. hahahatook pics with few chers. tcs dunno why carried me up, all of a sudden. hope my sheer weight don break his back.
well tats more or less abt de the morning.

It comes to an end that says I have genuine feelings for her. Not out of jealousy but pure, simple truth that I like her. I shall dismiss the betrayal act the ex has made; I would get my chance to show her I'm not so guilable to be dumped, and move on to a next phase. They say that with every relationship, the next would be a more meaningful one.
Thus I have been wondering: I like her, so what? She might not even realize my presence and such or and most probably have another person in mind. I did work my way through my previous one, but it ended up making me feel depressed that I felt real hatred and anger from my "dismissal". I would sacrifice everything and anything, but that might not change the way she feels about me.
I had gathered my courage and asked before, but only to get a nay. "better off as friends", was the phrase. this has also got stuck in my head and probably is the thing preventing me from going any further. i really want to, but the outcome always scares me.

hell ya peeps, tomorrow's the last paper! A-maths is the only the paper in the way to play and freedom from the rotting textbooks. soon we'll shall all go out to eat fresh oysters at Sakura!
today's chinese and english papers isn't that all too hard. somehow my mcq for chinese can suck for all i care i dont understand the passages, but for the writing comprehension part i fully understood though. ironic huh.
ended my english paper 45 minutes before stop time. looked up and it seems like everyone is writing an essay everybody's scribblin' till the nuts rot away. spent most of the time chewing my gum and blowing bubbles. got caught by tcs. said that my chewing can be heard a mile away to where he is sitting. tapped my feet and fingers to the beat of my preferred musics. finally papers are collected and off to tenchi to play dota. damned 5v3 plus noob-o in the 3 man team losing is assured, but tanglin wont go down without a fight. lost it eventually la, but good game played.
went home maple bit(eh gg to 2nd job and stuck at lvl 28!!) and napped a while and off to memorise math formulas. done that and off to the blogging then there.

Well, I feel weird. Why you may ask, is that having feelings for someone and not sure whether it is true. Could I have been trying to fill the hole when she threw me away? Is it that i'm scared of another rejection or the way I treat her if it happens? Ex and one of my bros got together.

Maybe I was jealous, so finding one to prove my worth was imperiative to find solace. Being a competitive person, that, could be my most driving reason. Why of all people I had to fall for her? Nope it wasn't the classical "I like the way you smile" kind of thing, but probably was drawn to her attitude. Must be good, all would think, but in actual fact it is otherwise. Many would say she is naive , loud and rash , but I see her with another image.my judgment is too bent to decide.

When did all this happen? During the last year end hols tat much interaction with her might have done something. Drawn, enchanted, mesmerized, I do not understand. But every morning she gets her stuff in the SC room, I might have felt something.
All this comes down to one thing: is getting in this business right, fit, even just for us? This is making me spin, but I will wait again to see what happens to me, what feelings and reactions I make.

Today I did lots of math (actually, I was my homework for my tuition and school) I brought back de test questions of de a maths test on friday. Seemed like I lost a piece of it. Did it and decided that I would get half of de marks for tat paper. Went for a haircut today. Hair dresser gave me a really hair raising(standing actually ) haircut . Gave me a fiber gel that smelt strongly of vanilla .throughout the whole day I smelt like an ice cream. Quite delightful hahaha. Having tuition . My tutor told me a secret : he had went for plastic surgery! He had his cheeks and chin injected with silicon, made his nose sharp and pulled his ears back.no wonder he had elfin ears. Damn how did he looked like. Said that he wanted to be a headturner. Man that's rich. Told my sis about it and she couldn't stop laughing her arse off. Then she showed off her bicep then I showed her mine. Hahaha her's looked puny to mine, but hers was quite good for a lady.we then talked about what I might join in JC. Rugby or canoeing? Popular sports, but i'll decide later.

March 2007
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May 2007
August 2007
September 2007